“If you keep going despite any setbacks you might face, you’re going to turn into one powerful human being. You might not see it now, but it’s being built inside of you, like the Rocky Mountains that took thousands of years to seemingly reach the sky. Now you look at them and it’s as if you never saw a sight so beautiful. Don’t just conquer your mountains, make your own.” – via Millenial Life Crises

I love this excerpt from Millenial Life Crises’ note to Self!  A self built of consistent effort and growth in the face of struggle, creates the most admirable and strikingly beautiful source of inspiration.  So keep going!

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Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash

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Bodi(ease)

Posted: September 18, 2019 in Poem, poet, Poetry, wellness, Women
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I want bod(ease)

An ease of ways

To pos-ition

Our freshly

Showered frames

Glimpses in the mirror

We are so self conscious

Slips of towels caress

Our bodies

In the women’s locker room

A lotus mole on Tanya

A graffiti stretch mark on Rose

Why can’t we find the

Grace in the things that

Distinguish us from others

And call it a beauty mark?

“Oh my god it opens up your heart and there’s a spiritual awareness”

Paul Williams on writing “A Rainbow Connection.”

  • Surrounded by Jim Henson and collaborating composer and artist friends
  • The scene was about a Rainbows refractions
  • Drew inspiration from “When you Wish Upon A Star” in Pinnochio
  • About the muppets coming together as creatives

Takeaways.  For inspiration:

  • Surround yourself with artist friends and community members
  • Draw inspiration from the scene you are working on and nature
  • Draw Inspiration from existing work
  • Use your surroundings and existing materials in the present

Something about being present, being in concert with existing art, and being surrounded and influenced by other creatives is spiritually aware, as Williams puts it.

As an artist, I fall in love easily.  I see a source of inspiration, and immediately want to dive in head over heels.  This is what artists call immersion.  We immerse ourselves in sources of inspiration in order to internalize the rhythm, harmony, and synchronicity of the melody were a part of, so that when we’re handed a violin we can join in the chorus.

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That’s what love is like for me.  I see someone that inspires me and I want to share in their world.  So that I can play a part of their orchestra.  But trouble arises when they don’t want to share in my world too.  My world is a full and beautiful novel full of animated characters and enchanted scenes.  Yet when someone wants me to internalize their world without becoming absorbed in mine too, it becomes a lopsided portrait.  A grating, asynchronous situation, that no one wants to hear or see.

What’s more devastating, is it impairs my vision.  So that it is no longer strong and clear, but tainted and distracted.  I just moved to Seattle and I want to stay here for the rest of my life, grow an audience, and a community, and become a strong, healthy, supported person.  I am lucky to have an apartment, a dog, and good health.  And I don’t want to compromise those for anyone or anything.  Those are my non negotiables.  If you feel yourself start to compromise internally on your non negotiables, you have a real situation on your hands.

The purpose of writing this post is to take a step back and realign my view with my vision and myself clearly and strongly.  Maybe you can support me and gain some clarity about your vision too.

Here is a poem I wrote about this situation.

I want someone

Who will share in my world

A glimpse of heaven

A site to behold

My world is crisp

Aglow with life

A meadow yonder

For warm respite

In the sun’s silence

My yearnings grow

I want to get lost

In your tides pull

But I will sit on this rock

My chin on my hand

My shepherd close

My eyes are always

On the skies

For your self

Is my demise

I would rather

Wait a day

For someone else

To come my way

So we can orbit

Each others worlds

Then fall under

Your misled spell

Witch Hazel I gather

Along the path

Wondering if ours will

Ever cross again

Maybe one day

You’ll see more than

A glimpse of me

For now you glance sideways

At my silhouette

We all  have layers.  Maybe sadness is an automatic response for you.  Due to the circumstances of your life.  And that’s ok.  Radical acceptance philosophy states that we should say yes to everything in our lives.  Just radically accept it without acting on it.  I disagree.  I don’t have to accept that I am depressed.  Depression isn’t permanent, but ruminating in a feeling of depression can lead to a rabbit hole spiral.

Happiness is surface level.  Happiness edicts are often dismissed as warm and fuzzy epitaphs.  This is because they are the top soil above the roots of deeper feelings that may be pain intermingled with growth.  This is why happiness is often confused as a superficial feeling, because oftentimes it is short lived.

Yet the nature of happiness is rooted in the present moment.  Connecting to the present moment and living in the now is the way to cultivate happiness.  So is reciting affirmations.  And connecting with activities that give us a sense of identity and purpose.  It’s about finding and following our breathe, commenting to friends on our surroundings, and getting lost in the flow of activities that make us feel connected to ourselves and others and the moment.

Happiness is also a perspective.  It is the persistent and repeated effort of saying, I could ruminate on this challenging situation, but I won’t.  Instead, I’ll troubleshoot it and find meaning and inspiration in alternative endeavors.

That is not to say depression is easy to shake.  It requires skill building, problem solving skills, perspective, support, and faith.  These all require practice and a lifelong commitment to building each of these facets.  Depression doesn’t have to be permanent.  It’s a season and spring will come along. Just be ready to embrace it when it does.  ben-shanks-KnuRlLO8R5k-unsplash.jpg

You are a bold

Mountain True and Noble

Sturdy and Strong.

I want to absolve you

Of your wholesome strength

To destroy your inner tranquility

And cast you down to the sea

Where the tumultuous waves

Will hold you in their embrace

Washing away your sorrow

Like the warmth of my glowing skin

In your presence.

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Photo by John Rodenn Castillo on Unsplash

As I was journaling at a cafe, I realized the importance of creative and healthy role models.  I realized what I needed was inspiration.  And I asked myself inspiration to do what?

I needed inspiration not to stay motivated and not give up.

As I did a thought cloud, three words POPPED out at me as associated with inspiration.

(1) Direction

(2) Clarity

(3) Motivation

Choosing to build a creative life is challenging without the right role models to guide the way.  So, I set my intention to the universe to find the right role models.

And then I discovered a book all of my creative friends had recommended: the Artists’ Way.  As I skimmed the index:

(1) Recovering a Sense of Identity

(2) Recovering a Sense of Power

(3) Recovering a Sense of Connection

…I thought wow!  A lot of other writers must be struggling with the same challenges as me.  What an awesome place to find mentorship and guidance.

Takeaways

I am realizing I need to put together a pin board either on social media or a tangible one that can be a source of inspiration.

I need to seek out the biographies of writers who have struggled with the same challenges as me and overcome them.

I need to tap into community health resources to provide more clarity around my struggles and find mentors who can help me overcome them.

I need to read the Artists Way immediately.

What are your sources of inspiration?  Share in the comments!